dear avery claire...

you were born a little fighter, trying to pull off the cord wrapped around your neck.

this is actually you trying to escape your first bath, but same idea..

the first things i noticed about you were your cute tiny little feet and the dimple that i had been praying for was on your left cheek.

on the night you were born, you got to meet your mom and dad, and all 4 grandparents.
                          
you permanently stole my heart the next morning, while laying on my chest you stretched your little skinny neck to look right up at me with wide eyes. it was a moment i will never forget.
                          
you took your time to work up an appetite. you chose to hit the snooze button when i tried to feed you.
                           
you didn't cry when they pricked your heel at 5 days old.

you only wake up once during the night. something i keep on the down low when i'm around other moms of newborns.

you spent a week with your aunt larken


you have your dad's chicken legs

you have definitely developed that appetite. you get feisty when hungry...and this week you gained a pound in less than 7 days!

you are starting to smile but are still very stingy with those little grins. they are usually directed at the wall or the ceiling. forget the woman who feeds you every 20 minutes.



you have already watched 3 seasons of gilmore girls with me. you won't admit it but i can tell you love it as much as i do.

you go into what your dad calls a "feeding frenzy" every night..


you have had a little stuffy nose for 2/3 of your life. poor girl.

you surprise attack me when i take off your diaper...you have already wet our bed a number of times. you owe me quite a few loads of laundry.

there's no easy way to say this, but your dad is obsessed with you.
                     
                     
you haven't decided yet if you love or hate your binky...depends on your mood.

you have learned to make desperate little squawks until your dad or i pick you up...faker. still works every time.

you are already 5 weeks old...we love getting to know you.

january 30, 2012

birth story, if you like that sort of thing. i think it's pretty tame...but this is the caution tape surrounding the perimeter.

it started out a monday morning like any other...i was halfway through my 38th week of pregnancy. we took this picture (for this project) before andrew left for work:

i had a doctor's appointment--just a quickie. they had me going in every 2 days because my blood pressure had been creeping up in the last few weeks of pregnancy.  but there was also talk of stripping my membranes (a delicate term, i'm sure) which made me nervous, so i asked andrew to come with me. i was glad he was there! when we got to the doctor, my blood pressure was higher than it had ever been before, and wasn't going down. dr. livingston said, "i think we have this baby today" and told us to go straight to the hospital: do not pass GO, do not collect $200, and do not go home to get your stuff for the hospital.  so i left that morning for a quick appointment and did not return til 3 days later (with a tiny infant in tow.)

after calling my parents who went right away to find a flight, we got to the hospital around 11 am and then filled out paperwork and waited.

got in bed and started on the ice chips, wishing i had eaten a bigger breakfast.

 around noon they put in my IV and started me on pitocin.

 this picture was for larken, who wanted it all.

 during a contraction

andrew went home to get our stuff for the hospital. i called him at least 5 times with things i kept remembering...they came in to break my water. it was not my doctor, but his partner. she was skeptical at best about inducing me. "your blood pressure looks fine now"..."how far along are you?"..."what did he call you?" (cervical exam) me: "almost a 3" her: "well i'd call this a two".  GOSH. SORRY LADY, I DIDN'T ASK TO BE INDUCED! then she went on to actually break the water, which they say shouldn't hurt.
            i don't know why they say that.
it was probably the worst part of the entire labor! maybe it's because andrew was still gone so i was alone with a semi-mean lady violating me (ha).

really though, for how emotional i was during pregnancy, it was a pretty easy and emotion-less day of birth. which is how i like it. (the drugs probably had something to do with that). they gave me an epidural around 3 pm, which was fine and made the pain go away, but left me feeling sick, weird, lazy, and just blah.  so i half slept/watched the food network/took phone calls from excited family members/hung out with my husband/wished i could eat.

they turned me on my side later in the day (which must have done the trick, because i went from like a 4 to a 10 in about an hour, in which hour i felt really sick and threw up). they gave me zofran for the nausea and i slept a little more.  around 7 pm the nurse came in and checked me, and started dancing around saying "finally! you're at a 10!! yay!!"  my reaction was not yay, but "ooh. at a 10 like you mean i need to push?" she said YES!!! and i said no. when the doctor came in (fun fact: the doctor who delivered me was dr. gray, and my nurse was named meredith, and so am i) i told her i'd rather not push yet, i just wanted to lay there, i felt lazy and nervous.  she and the nurse must not hear that a lot, because they were astonished, but said okay, that's fine. they said they'd come back in an hour.  i was happy with the arrangement, but andrew was impatient and wanted to meet the little lady--i can't blame him, but he wasn't the one facing imminent danger (that was me, the dramatic one).

the doctor came in around 8:07, got her stuff on, and we began the pushing process probably around 8:10.  i'll skip the gory details but imagine andrew on my left, the nurse on my right, my grouchy doctor making questionable faces straight in front of me--freaking me out, by the way; a baby's heart rate dropping with each push; dr. gray saying they'd need to forceps assist if i didn't get her out in the last push; 5-6 contractions total; and about 10 minutes--and no forceps--later, a beautiful baby girl was born.  [for as scared as i was about the birth and pushing, it really wasn't bad at all. sure, i'd like to switch out miss grouchy for MY doctor...but it didn't hurt, it was exciting, and 10 minutes later, it was over.  my entire life i've been freaked out about giving birth when in reality the worst parts were breaking the water, putting in a catheter, and a pesky blood pressure cuff (and the recovery!!) wish someone had told me, saved me 21 years of worry. ha ha.]

8:26 pm
6 lb. 10 oz.
19 inches long

anyway, the cord had been wrapped around her neck so that's why her heart rate had been dropping, but she was born healthy and screaming and perfect. the doctor cut the cord and sprayed me with a lot of umbilical cord blood, which was quite lovely.  i couldn't hold her right away because i was getting stitched up, but here were her first few moments of life:

 and then i finally got to hold her:

 and so did her dad

all in all, it was an amazing day. it is funny, i'm writing this a month later... i remember that day, looking at my brand new daughter, thinking "that's what my baby looks like?" because i didn't know her yet. 

now i look back at them, and think "oh, that's avery" in the pictures.  it's amazing how quickly you start to know your baby.  i remember the third day in the hospital, looking down at the baby, and thinking, "oh, i know you...i recognize this little face staring up at me. i love that little face."

(we didn't name her til the next morning) but happy birthday avery claire. we love you.

complete.